When we lose someone that we are close with, it can feel like our whole world has turned on its head. Whether a loved one has passed, a family has broken down, or we’ve been separated from those close to us, it can sometimes feel a hole has been left in our lives. For many of us, this hole can create a real sense of isolation and loneliness.
Because of this, loneliness is a topic that comes up a lot in our work at SKATTLE. Through our conversations with clients, we have learned a lot of really useful skills that people use to help battle this sense of solitude. If you are finding yourself having trouble with feeling lonely, try some of these really handy ideas:
Keep yourself busy
When we’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to get really caught up in all of our negative thoughts. Sometimes, it’s helpful to distract yourself by doing things you enjoy. Even if you don’t initially feel like doing it, focussing on an enjoyable task can not only help you forget about the negative feelings you are experiencing, but can shift your mood entirely.
Thinking positive thoughts
Like we talked about in this post, the way the little voice in our head talks to us can greatly impact on the way we see ourselves and our world. Because of this, we sometimes forget that we are not our thoughts; they are just a reaction to our experience. When we have lost someone, the thoughts we have about them can perpetuate our sense of loneliness we experience. Like we can change how we behave, however, we can also change how we think. If you catch yourself having a negative thought about yourself, try changing the thought into a more positive one.
Talk to someone
Loneliness can be a bit of a trap. Sometimes when we are feeling lonely and down, being around those who aren’t can be challenging. However, if we start avoiding social situations or withdrawing from others, this can have us feeling even more isolated than before. When being with others seems difficult, the best way to combat that can sometimes be to talk to someone you trust. Whether this is a family member, a friend, or even a counsellor, talking about your experience can help you feel more connected to others.
Show yourself a little compassion
Loneliness is an incredibly human experience. We are social creatures, and we all experience loneliness at one time or another. Feeling lonely or isolated when you’ve lost someone is incredibly normal. Beating yourself up over your feelings will only cause more anguish. Showing yourself a little love can go a really long way.
Have these tips been helpful? Or is there another skill that you use when facing feelings of loneliness? We’d love to hear your ideas.
If your family is struggling with loneliness after a loss, please feel free to contact us for support.