At some point in our lives, we all experience times of change. Whether they’re big changes or small, temporary or permanent, sometimes they can throw us right off our game.
At SKATTLE, a lot of the things we talk about have to do with change. We’ve had clients speak about the death of a loved one, family separation, difficult medical diagnosis, relocation, and a myriad of other life-changing experiences.
Throughout these conversations, there is one key rule that is continually highlighted for the SKATTLE team and the families who work with us.
Everyone experiences change differently.
There is no cookie-cutter rulebook to explain how one should experience change. There is no step-by-step guide detailing what we should feel, what we should think, or how we should behave.
Sometimes, we may even believe that we are experiencing our changes in the wrong way. We think “I shouldn’t feel this way”, or “I’m weak for thinking like this”.
Or we may think that those around us aren’t experiencing change the way that they should. We might be confused by the responses of others, because they don’t make sense to the way that we might respond.
The subjective human experience can be influenced by many different things.
Our personal history, relationships, and even genetics can all impact on the way we make sense of our lives.
Because of this, the way each of us respond to times of change can greatly differ.
There is no ‘normal’ way to experience change.
Often, we need to give ourselves, and those around us, the patience to process the change as we need to. Trying to change the way we act or the way we think ‘to what we believe might be right’ can sometimes do more harm than good.
Simply giving yourself permission ‘to be’ is sometimes the most healing gift of all.